Abstract: A portable vibrating bidet is a portable, cylindrical device with a telescoping hose that allows the user to deliver cleansing liquid and air to clean themselves after using the restroom. Cleansing liquid is drawn from a liquid reservoir by a pump to a spray nozzle of the telescoping hose, and air is drawn from a plurality of air vents to the spray nozzle by a fan. The telescoping hose extends from and retracts into a hose cavity in the cylindrical body and is covered when not in use by a cap that uses an ultra-violet light source to sterilize the telescoping hose after use. A heater controls the temperature of the dispensed fluid. A vibrator delivers vibrations through the cylindrical body and cap for added functionality as a pleasure device. A plurality of exterior controls allows the user to control the various functions of the portable vibrating bidet.