Abstract: An apparatus for testing the life expectancy of a straw having a test straw holder, an upper jaw, a lower jaw, and a frame. One end of the test straw is connected to the test straw holder and the other end is disposed between an upper jaw and a lower jaw. The upper jaw is movable along a vertical axis above the straw. The upper jaw engages the straw in a first position and is disengaged from the straw in an second position. The other end of the straw is attached to a pull body. The pull body pulls the straw away from the upper jaw, as the upper jaw engages the straw, to create a pulling stress. The pull body is connected to a grinding rod. The grinding rod pulls the pull body along with the lower jaw sideways as it moves away from the straw to create a grinding stress on the straw. Thus, the apparatus simulates a biting stress, a pulling stress, and a grinding stress on the straw.