Abstract: A hermetically sealed dual-opening beverage container that functions as a mixing instrument, drinking straw, and a shot delivery (or shooter) device suitable for retail distribution is disclosed. An example embodiment includes a hermetically sealed beverage container for retail distribution including a vessel having a generally right rectangular prism shape, a first cap and a second cap both having a generally cube shape. Example embodiments of the hermetically sealed dual-opening beverage container reduce the amount of wasted space in the packaging and distribution process because of its efficient shape. Further, example embodiments of the container can poured contents at a faster rate, and can be reused and recycled. Further, the disclosed subject matter can be utilized as a straw and mixing device, like a stirrer, and makes consuming a shot from a bottle easier and quicker. This results in increased efficiency, increased functionality and increased pouring speed.