Abstract: Umpire's satchel with multiple fitted compartments for required equipment items, ID cards, first-aid supplies, hygiene items is disclosed. An external anchor for an absorbent wiper is provided. The satchel can be prepared in mirror-image models for right- or left-handed individuals. Optional features such as badge window and frontwall expansion pleat are also disclosed. Alternative custom configurations and embodiments with a removable panel of customized fitted compartments are indicated. Safety provisions for handling contaminated gameballs and HIV biohazards are disclosed.