Abstract: An air conditioner shield includes a first portion, a second portion slidably nested within the first portion, and a retention device. The first portion includes a foot at a near edge, where the foot elevates the near edge of the first portion above the surface of an air conditioner, and a first far lip at a far edge of the first portion, where the lip forms a track. The second portion includes a second near lip at a near edge of the second portion, where the second near lip elevates the near edge of the second portion above the surface of the air conditioner, and where the first lip fits within the foot of the first portion. The second portion further includes a second far lip at a far edge, where the second far lip fits within the track of the first far lip of the first portion.